A life Masterpiece: The art of putting yourself first
Ah, the struggles of putting oneself first – it’s like trying to juggle while riding a unicycle on a tightrope! I dismissed the idea for the longest time, considering it was reserved for women on Instagram with a specific lifestyle – an elite club I felt I didn’t belong to.
Looking back, I realise my hesitation was fuelled by jealousy and the fear of being perceived as selfish. The concept of self-prioritisation seemed tangled with notions of exclusivity and outward-focused boundary setting.
But today, let’s shift the narrative and explore it from a different perspective – one that is more inward-focused than outward.
Changing Your Mindset:
When I say “Put yourself first,” you might be thinking: “I don’t have time,” “I’m too busy,” “I can’t with the kids,” “I work full time,” “I don’t know where to start,” “I don’t know what to do,” or “I don’t have the money.” If any of these statements resonate with you, I hear you because I’ve been there.
A few years ago, I couldn’t see the point of honouring my own needs, fearing the label of selfishness. Caught between being a people-pleaser, the easy-going one, and the desire to be the “good girl,” it’s no wonder many of us harbour negative thoughts about prioritising ourselves.
Before we dive into action, we must change our mindset. Why practice something if our minds resist it? Let’s put it into perspective.
Would you expect your car to take you from A to B with an empty tank? No, because it doesn’t make sense. Would you expect your phone to work without charging it every night? No, once again, because it doesn’t make sense. So, why is it okay for you to function on an empty tank?
Can we agree that prioritising oneself is as vital as filling up your car’s tank or charging your phone? Fantastic, we are on the same page.
Giving Yourself the Validation You Need:
The biggest challenge in honouring our needs is that it starts with us. While our loved ones are wonderful, they rarely say, “You look like you could use some downtime and should prioritise yourself.” The validation must come from within. It’s a responsibility only we can fulfil.
As lovely as our family, friends, and partners are, no one else can grant us permission. But here’s the kicker: it becomes even more powerful when it comes from us. However, if our mindset is not in the right space, giving ourselves validation for something we feel might get us in trouble becomes a significant hurdle.
So, let’s begin by changing our mindset, acknowledging the importance of filling our own tanks, and giving ourselves the validation we need. It’s time to make self-prioritisation a masterpiece of our lives, painted with our own brushstrokes of self-love and acknowledgment.
Mastering the art of prioritising yourself:
I believe that for us women there is this misconception about the fact that everything needs to be perfect before we can start thinking of ourselves.
You and I both know that your to-do list and mine are endless and the time when we will be at the bottom of it will probably never happen.
Prioritising yourself needs to come first. It is not a reward for achieving anything.
It needs to be a practice, something that honours your needs and are practical and easy to maintain in your busy life.
Here are some down-to-earth examples to help you embrace the art of self-prioritisation:
- Morning Magic Ritual: Start your day with a ritual that’s just for you. Whether it’s sipping a cup of herbal tea, practising mindfulness, or dancing like nobody’s watching to your favourite song, carve out that sacred time to set the tone for a day filled with self-love. I wrote an article about the positive impact of having a routine. https://anasalido.com/transforming-your-life-and-well-being-with-a-routine/
- Boundaries Like a Boss: Learn to say ‘no’ without hesitation. Your time and energy are precious resources, and setting boundaries is like putting up a “This is my time” sign. It’s okay to decline invitations or requests that don’t align with your priorities.
- Self-Care Sundays (or any day you fancy): Designate a day each week for self-care. Whether it’s a bubble bath, a nature walk, or devouring a good book, make it a non-negotiable date with yourself. Treat yourself like the queen you are.
- Dreamy Date Nights – Solo Edition: Take yourself out on a date. Whether it’s a movie night, a solo dinner at your favourite restaurant, or a stroll through an art gallery, relish in your own company. You’re the best date you’ll ever have!
- Tech Detox Timeout: Unplug from the digital world regularly. Social media can wait; your mental well-being cannot.
- Investing in Your Growth: Just like you guide others on their journey, invest time and resources in your own personal and professional development. Attend workshops, read empowering books, or enrol in a course that sparks your passion.
- Sweat it Out: Exercise isn’t just for physical health; it’s a powerhouse for mental and emotional well-being. Whether it’s yoga, jogging, or a dance class, find a form of movement that makes you feel alive and strong.
- Celebrate Your Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. You’re constantly helping others reach their goals – now turn that spotlight on yourself. You deserve to revel in your victories!
Remember, darling, prioritising yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. You are the architect of your happiness, and by investing in yourself, you create a foundation for a life that radiates joy and fulfilment. Keep shining! 💖✨